Quiet Unfiltered Notes: From the Fire

Standing Between Chapters This morning I am sitting quietly with my first coffee of the day. The house is still. The world feels slower. And for the first time in a long time, I honestly do not know what comes next. Yesterday my time at Bible college came to an end unexpectedly. Even writing that sentence feels strange. A part of me still does not fully believe it. A part of me keeps replaying the conversations in my head trying to make sense of them. Trying to understand what happened. Trying to understand why. Trying to understand what God is doing. And if I am completely honest this morning, I do not have answers. I wish I did. I wish this was one of those blog posts where I could neatly tie everything together with a bow and tell you exactly what lesson God is teaching me. I wish I could tell you I am full of peace. I wish I could tell you I understand the purpose. I wish I could tell you I saw it coming. I cannot. The truth is I am angry. I am disappointed. I am confused and have...

Your Glory Is My Promised Land Inspired by the song " Glory" by Naomi Dappen . All lyrical credit belongs entirely to her. If these words move you, go listen to her music. I have been listening to a song for the last few days that I cannot seem to shake. Not because it is catchy. Not because it has been stuck in my head. But because every time I hear it, it confronts me. The lyrics are simple: "I want Your glory more than Your promise." "I seek Your face more than Your hand." "If I have Your presence I'll sleep in deserts." "Oh Your glory is my promised land." The first time I heard those words, I stopped what I was doing and listened again. Then I listened again. And again. Because the more I sat with those lyrics, the more I realised they were exposing something in me. If I am completely honest, much of my early walk with God was transactional . I loved God. I genuinely believed. I prayed. I read Scripture . But underneath all of...

Jesus Is With You in the Pressure I have been thinking a lot lately about the pressure men carry. Not the kind people see publicly. The hidden pressure . The pressure that sits quietly underneath everyday life while you still somehow keep functioning. I do not think people fully understand how much weight many men are carrying internally while still showing up every day pretending everything is normal. You still go to work. Still pay the bills. Still answer texts. Still laugh at jokes. Still tell people you are “just tired.” Meanwhile internally your mind feels like it has been holding its breath for six months. I know that feeling well. There have been seasons of my life where I felt like I was carrying so much pressure internally that even small things started affecting me emotionally. A bill arriving at the wrong time. One difficult conversation. One more responsibility. One more unexpected expense. One more stressful shift. And suddenly your nervous system feel...

Yesterday Bianca and I were driving to get her car fixed. It was one of those ordinary moments that should have passed by unnoticed. Nothing dramatic. Nothing profound. Just two people in a car driving across the Gold Coast dealing with the normal responsibilities that come with everyday life. Then out of nowhere she asked me a question. A simple question. The kind of question people ask casually. The kind of question that normally gets a quick answer. "What age would you like to revisit?" I don't know if it was the frame of mind I was already in. I don't know if I was tired. I don't know if I was emotionally vulnerable. I don't know if God used the question to expose something that had been sitting quietly beneath the surface for a long time. But as soon as she asked it, something happened. It felt almost cinematic. Like a movie reel suddenly started playing inside my mind. Images. Memories. Conversations. Faces. Places. Moments. Entire chapters of my life f...

   There is something real specific about a hospital hallway at midnight. Approaching the end of my shift at the Gold Coast University Hospital The walls sort of narrow in on your mind. The flat fluorescent lights blur everything together until it feels like it could be any hour, any decade, or any century, if it weren't for the machines blinking along the walls, keeping their quiet little vigils. It was right there, that this thought hit me with the quiet weight of something I'd always known but never quite put into words.   We burn so much energy trying to boss time around. We bend it, twist it, and stretch it to fit our jobs, our projects, and our schedules. We look at the calendar and try to squeeze in holidays, birthday dinners, and deadlines. We talk about "making time," "saving time," or "buying time" like it's something we can trade in a market. We colour-code our digital planners. We negotiate deadlines. We slash hours from one thing j...

Wow, what a way to close out my Sunday night with Bianca and I attending the King’s Together event at the Gold Coast Turf Club in Bundall here on the Gold Coast . King’s Together is a special Sunday where all the King’s campuses gather together in one location as one church. Inspired by the Scriptures where believers gathered together in one place and in one accord, the entire night carried this beautiful sense of unity, worship, and shared vision. Different locations. One heart. And Jesus being glorified above everything else. As I stood there tonight worshipping the living King, I genuinely felt the Lord speaking both corporately and personally into my spirit. And what I felt so strongly was this: This is only the beginning of what God is going to do. That sentence landed deeply inside me tonight because if I am honest, I carry a real hunger for revival . Not hype. Not emotionalism. Not people chasing experiences for the sake of experiences. I mean genuine revival. The kind where...

As I sit here finishing my last cup of coffee before getting ready for my afternoon shift at Gold Coast University Hospital , I keep thinking about peace. Not shallow peace. Not the kind that comes because circumstances suddenly improve. I mean the kind of peace that makes no sense being there at all. The kind Scripture speaks about when Paul writes: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus .” Philippians 4:6–7 I have read that verse so many times over the years. Quoted it. Highlighted it. Heard sermons preached about it. But there is a difference between admiring a verse and reaching a point where you desperately need it to be true. Lately, I have needed it to be true. Because if I strip everything back and speak honestly, this season has stretched me harder than I expected. New ...